Randomness....

Its been awhile since I just sat and wrote about the goings on in our lives... guess thats cause nothing has been overly exciting lol

Let's see...work is going really well. I am now trained on all aspects of the front end and really love it. The midnight shifts have been interesting to say the least. I am utterly amazed at the number of people that bring thier YOUNG children shopping in the middle of the night! I am talking like in the range of 2-10.... seriously what are they thinking??? We have an array of shoppers in their jammies which is always entertaining lol. We have the after bar crowd... that can be annoying to pure fun and entertainment. We were told this week that our store along with one in Calgary are going to remain open for the 24 hours through January as well... there is a lot of confusion about who will be working though so I am just sitting back and waiting until a decision is made.

We attended a Candle light memorial tonight with our miscarriage support group. It was just wonderful! The group we attend is fairly small... but the people attending the service was incredible. Many people that no longer feel the need to come to the monthly groups still attend the service... I counted 92 candles lit in memory of babies tonight...just a small fraction of the angels who have been lost. Its really quite overwhelming when you think of it. Its wonderful to have the bond with the other parents and yet so sad at the same time. I feel blessed to have met them one one hand and on the other I wish we were all still strangers. I will never understand why I lost my babies.... I jsut have to trust there is some sort of higher power with a plan that is meant to guide me through this journey.

My counselling is going really well. My therapist thinks I am making great strides. All I can say is its been one hell of a journey and we are only a quater way through my sessions! We have done some interesting excersises that have given me so much insight into myself and the dynamics of the family. My latest "assignment" is to start a gratitude journal... she wants me to write 3 things each night that I am grateful for. .. mostly that will be easy but somedays when I get trapped in the dark nasty corners of my brain it wil be a real challenge. Starting in Feb I will be attending a group called Changing Ways. It is targeted for people who have issues with depression and works on skills to help overcome the dark side of things so day to day life can be less overwhelming. It runs for 12 weeks and my therapist is one of the leaders. I think it will be interesting. I am certainly willing to try it out... I figure it certainly can't hurt things and if I can learn skills to stay out of the dark side of my brain I will be thrilled.

I guess thats about it. I am sooooooo looking forward to Christmas this year! I can't wait to be home with everyone and to see the wonder adn excitment in the kids eyes! I plan on making a montage once I get back so stayed tuned for that ;)