Infertility Reflection....

So I got this in a round about way. I follow a blog from one of the people who was on the clomid board on ivillage when I joined... I have followed her journey for a long time. She got the reflection off of another blog that she follows. LOL got to love blog hoppers. Anyways it made me tear right up and I thought it was something that was well worth sharing here.....

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?

Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "adopt and you'll get pregnant," or "things happen for a reason", of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.

These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live."However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment.

What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?

What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?I think he meant for my husband and I to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.

No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let him down.

Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me.

Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when he handed me infertility. I already know."

You know its cold when.....

Steam from the manhole covers form icicles......

We adopted......

A kitten :) His name is Simba :) He joined us yesterday and has made himself right at home! Taz and Belle are scared of him lol.... big wimps! Buster could care less as long as he gets his share of attention ;)

And of course the most important thing... Pictures!

Happy New Year....

Wow how can it be 2008 already... it seems like we entered 2007 just yesterday! Its been quite the year and personally other than a few moments I am very glad to see the year go. am hoping and praying that 2008 will bring many happy memories and god willing a baby or at the bery least a healthly pregnancy. I am hoping that my mental health will do nothing but improve... there will still be a few rough times I am sure but at least I am on the right path. I am hoping for job/ financial stability. Leaving my old job was very nessecary but man the finanical stuggles since have sure beena trial. I will now on Feb 1 if I am one of the few temp staff that will be hired on permanently and if not the job search will begin all over again UGH!

On a positive note I am really looking forward to June and to Katy and Steves wedding... what a celebration it will be! I am looking forward to creating many new memories with the family and with my friends :) And speaking of friends.... last night Jay and I along with our friend Kelleen headed down to see in the new year with the fire works downtown. We had a great time and had a very adventerous ride home on the bus... lol of course we couldn't start the new year off in a quiet way !

Here we are all bundled up and a couple fireworks shots too :)