11 years......

Dear Mom,

Wow are the years passing fast! Its hard to believe that 11 years ago we were all together saying goodbye to you. I miss you everyday and wonder what you would be thinking if you were still here.

So much has happened for me this past year. I finally met the love of my life and I am sure you would have though I was totally insane meeting Jay on the internet... it was still such a new thing when you were here. I know you would love him though. He fits in with the family so well and he treats me really great. I am so happy. I really missed having you there on my wedding day. I think that was the hardest thing for me. I hope you felt our love and were smiling down from heaven when we lit your candle. I did have a few tears that day but Virgina helped me through them and told me that she knew you would be so happy for me.

I have made many changes for the better. I am doing great professionally and know you would be proud of that. We moved back to Meadowlark village... its odd to be back to a place where we once lived as a family but at the same time its neat knowing my kidswill grow up in a place that holds many happy memories. It was fun walking around with jay and sharing stories with him. Everytime I walk down the alley with Teddi and Buster I can picture you and Skippy strolling along and it brings a smile to my face :)

More than ever I have been thinking of you this past few weeks. I found out I was pregnant and I so wished you were here with me to share the joy. I wondered so much about what you would be thinking about your baby having a baby finally. Then came one of the saddest days in my life so far... the day I lost my precious baby. It was threes weeks today that we said goodbye to Peanut and asked God to take care of our baby for us. I am comforted by the thought that my baby is with you though. I can picture you holding Peanut in your arms with a big smile on your face. I would give anything to have my baby back and I would give anything to have you back but that will never happen... but at least you are together till I get there.

I love you so much mom and I still can't believe sometimes that you are gone. I can feel you around me and when I look at the cards you gave me and I see your words of love written to me its almost like part of you is here with me. I hope you are resting peacefully and that you are there to greet me with open arms when it is my turn to come home to heaven. Until then please take care of my baby, say hi to dad and give him a huge hug, look out for all of us and all the new babies coming to the family. You may be gone from us here but your love and memory will never leave us feeling lost or alone.

All my love for now and always,

Kerri