Parenting 101...

So as anyone who knows me knows... I am a people watcher. Always have been always will be lol. I get my fill on a regular basis on the bus some times its happy, sometimes sad, sometimes just plain funny as hell. These days though I find myself really drawn to watching how parents are acting and interacting with their kids. This past week I saw a daddy that warmed my heart and a mom that I wanted to string up by her nails.

The dad was a young guy... I would say at the very most 18... and that would be pushing it. He was alone with his little girl who I would guess to be about a year old. It was quite apparent that she wasn't feeling good and he was trying so hard to keep her happy. Initially there were no seats availble for him so he was just chatting with her and when he was finally able to sit down he picked her up and she snuggled right in for kisses and a back rub... it was very touching... you could see the love in his touch and how much she adored her daddy.

Not to long later I am sitting on the LRT and a young mom amd her baby got on with a few friends. They were laughing and joking about the mom going to court and all the warrents she had for her arrest currently. She was laughing about going to JAIL and how she would get to see the babies daddy and how damn she wouldn't be able to leave Canada ever because of her long criminal record and that no more baby jail for her now. I was just sick. I was sitting looking at this precious little baby maybe all of 3-4 months old and thinking what a life she's been brought into. It makes me so stinking mad.... furious even. It makes me insane that people act irresponsibly when they have children. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes but there is a time to grow the frick up and become the adult your children need.

I guess part of my issue watching that mom is thinking of my own childhood. My parents made bad choices that will impact all of us always... its what we do with that impact that matters. I have thought lots this last week about what life would be like now if things were different growing up. Would we all be the adults we are today or would our lives be greatly different? Would we have all made the same choices? Would I change my life now... no way. Would I change my childhood sure... for some things but not all of it becasue though there was bad there is also lots of good. But then the reality is through the bad we did become who we are... so I don't know I would want to change things... it really is a fine line.

On the same token I know that young mom bugged the hell out of me because of all we are going through to become parents. We have a stable home and marriage. We have a love filled awesome extended family that would be actively involved in our baby's life. We WANT a baby more than anything... and yet we struggle. We have sent two babies to heaven, I am starting a fertility drug in the hopes that the next time we have a baby at the end of a pregancy instead of another angel. We are doing everything in our power to do this parenting thing right. Then you go down to skid row and see babies being neglected as their parents do drugs, you see people laughing about going to jail, you hear horrors of abuse on the evening news. How is that OK?? Why is it so damn hard for some people to become parents? We aren't the only ones, hell there are many who have it even harder than us. Its just not fair!