4 Weeks off....

well not totally off but no shifts actually with my clients for that long... why you ask??? Well last night I was tidying up one of the bedrooms and stubbed my toe on the clients bed. I heard a crack and but it didn't hurt all that bad. As evening went on it got worse and this morning I couldn't even stand on my left foot... so off to the ER I go and I broke my middle toe. Because of the nature of my job the dr said I can't work other than paperwork til March 30th. I am glad to get time to catch up on all of the paper side of my job... just wish it wasn't in quite so painful a way and in a way that will be hard on the clients and staff at the house. We were actually looking at seeing some daylight finanically by the end of March but thats blown out of the water now... BLERG. Oh Well just have to look on the positive side of sleeping snuggled up beside Jay for the next month.

Real friends send chocolate and H.P.T's

So I have a really good online friend named Melissa and today I went and picked up a goody pack from her :) We were chatting one day on our message board about the different chocolate bars here vs the states and I was quite jealous about some of the goodies that everyone else was talking about so Melissa said she would send some. And boy did she! I about died and went to heaven when I saw all the goodies and Jay is super excited about getting two big boxes of Dots.... one of his favorite treats from home. As a bonus she also sent some HPT's... all my TTC buddies are always dieing for me to P.O.A.S ( pee on a stick) but they are sooo freaking expensive here I rarely give in... so now I can :) :) I am already madly in love with the Peanut Butter Twix she sent. Jay said so what happens when they are gone... and I said I think I will have to cry lol.

Heres a snapshot of our goodies...



Thanks Melissa..... YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!

Last of the big time spenders....

It was a beautiful day out today so we decided to kill some time and walk down Stony Plain road and check out the various thrift shops and pawn shops. Its amazing how fast you can kill 4 hours just wandering around. We found some PERFECT furniture... an entertainment center and matching desks for a total of $270 so we are hoping they stick around for few weeks so we can gather the money up and worse case hopefully we can get at least the entertainment unit since our desks are just fine... they just don't match the new furniture we have been buying. Jay rolls his eyes when I say that... guess it must be a woman thing lol. As we went along we did make a few purchases.... 2 sleepers, 4 playtex bottles in new shape, a teeny tiny hoodie sweater, a mac part and a mac key board ( Jays pieceing together a mac computer) and we spent ( drumroll please) a whole whopping 5 bucks lol.

The aftermath of falling asleep at 7pm....

1. Waking up at 10pm
2. Eating supper at 11:45pm
3. A 1am junk food run
4. Walking the dogs at 1:15am then fighting to get Teddi back in because shes having fun
5. Playing Scrabble til 2:45am

Yeah so that was our evening. I got home after a 2o hour shift; chatted with Jay and then we decided to nap for just an hour... well that turned into three hours cause I turned the alarm off lol. Its now closing in on 3am and we are finally heading back to bed. Thank God I am off tomorrow and other than a run to the post office to pick up a parcel we have zero plans for a change.... hmmmm maybe we will nap :P

The incredible computer cat....

Or should I say brat. About a week or so ago now Jay gave me the laptop and he took over my computer ( I must say I loved that trade lol). Well Belle has decided it's her favorite place to hang out when we are in bed or not at home. She did this once or twice when it was on Jays desk... but now that its on mine its a whole new game. She hangs out and opens folders like crazy. She has opened my email or the interent, she has searched the hard drive...today I got home from work to discover that she had even managed to rename some folders on my desk top. Its too bad that we can't teach her how to use it properly... I just have to retrain myself to put the screen down lol before she puts a password or something on it :P

Appointments, appointments everywhere.....

So got off my butt and made a bunch of calls for appointments today LOL. I have a physio appointment for tomorrow to start getting my hip fixed, I see Dr.G on the 8th for a clomid Checkup and the biggiest news of all... I did it, I finally made a counselling appointment. I called the support network today and got a list of places. I picked Cornerstone Counselling Services and they were so super nice when I called. They reviewed my basic issues and matched me up with someone and I go the first time on March 6th. I am excited and scared to death at the same time. The only thing that sucks is the fees... even with the sliding scale I rate having to pay $80 a session... BLECK. Hopefully we can keep it down to 2 appoinment a month and that we should be able to swing. I'll keep ya updated as tome goes on.

Too Cute not to share.....
So we were out shopping for a wedding dress for Katy and between dress changes Sara decided she needed to try out Jayda's soother and I caught it on my camera phone... aren't they just adorable :) : :) And so are Lynne and Carmen... wouldn't you agree???

Happy Belated Valentines and other stuff....

Hope everyone had a great valentines day :) Our's was pretty quiet but good. We exchanged cards and I made one of Jays favorite suppers.... then we actually went out for supper last night since it was payday. We went to the Royal Fork Buffet... one of my favorites and Jay has never been. Supper was great and Jay enterained me to no end with his excitment over them having a hot blackforest dessert which he then topped with ice cream. I throughly enjoyed my supper but seeing his joy made it worth the bill 100% lol

Life otherwise is the same old same old. I have a cold and it TOTALLY sucks. I talked to the pharmacist yesterday and with all my medical issues and current medications I can't take anything. She said if I was desperate to clear up nasal congestion I could try saline nose drops.... EWWWW; so I am left to suck it up until it goes away or until it gets bad enough to rank a antibiotic... and hopefully it jsut goes away before that ever happens. I also have to go for physio on my right leg. I have been having all sorts of issues since I had my d&c in March. Finally it got bad enough for me to ask my Dr about it and he said that he thinks there is some bursitus (sp??) and that there is definate issues with the IT band... so I will have to call and get that set up and hopefully on time I will be able to cross my leg again or at least tuck it up when I am sitting on the couch.

On the baby front these isn't a ton going on. I am taking my 3rd round of clomid... and statistically thats supposed to be the best month for getting a BFP... so lets hope and pray thats the case for us. We did start working on a baby budget....and UGH lol. We made up a spread sheet of all the things we will need before a baby comes home and we have been hunting for prices to create the budget. We also decided to start shopping at little each payday even though I am not PG yet. We went the first time yesterday and spent a whole 15 bucks but walked away with recieving blankets, a blanket, face clothes, socks and baby spoons...can't complain about that. We won't be opening any packages and figure that if for some god forsaken reason we don't ever have a baby of our own that we can donate the items to some one who needs them but in the meantime we will have fun shopping and dreaming :)

On a final note our quest to eat healthier is still going great. We had McDonalds today for the first time in about 8 weeks and ICK lol. We have been craving it and everywhere we go we see it and smell it so we caved and went for a late lunch/early supper. Well it went fine for Jay... for me its sitting like a lump and I can't get the taste out of my mouth and its been a couple hours :P... probably gonna be a long long time before I cave and eat it again if ever lol

Not preganant...

the clomid did make me ovulate.... but no baby this month :(

Just need to whine....

Its not secret that Jay and I are "working" very hard at having a baby. I took my second round of Clomid this month and as a kick I temped too. Well it would appear that I had a perfect ovulation date and we decided for a RARE change to buy some hpts. Typically I just won't waste the money becasue I get the regular blood tests from my ob. Well we just didn't want to wait and since we had some extra cash we bought a three pack of Clearblue digitals... one of the best out there. So today was target test day... test one FAILED. Read the directions again... make double sure I am doing everything right and test again... FAILED. I shook my head and think what the hell and take out the third test...reread again and you guessed it it FAILED. I am soooooooo frustrated! I called Clearblue and they were super nice and are sending me out a replacement pack of tests. Thats just great but I want the answer NOW lol. So now we wait for either the hag to pay me a visit, the new hpts or two weeks at which time my ob will give me a blood test. Why oh why can't this just be easy for us :P

EVACUATION....

Well we just arrived home after a total building evacutaion last night! Apparently there was a small explosion up on the 9th floor that then sparked a fire. YIKES. As far as we know there are no injuries guess we will have to watch the news to see for sure as the news crews were out last night. We called Al and he came and rescued us and all the fur babies and we went to his house for a sleep over... talk about an adventure. Thankfully we have no damage however the water damage in the building is CRAZY. There are fire and disaster restortation crews working through the building to try and create some order again. There are many people still displaced due to thier suites being damaged and that has got to totally suck. We are safe, the babies are safe and our stuff is safe. It sure gave us a wakeup call for getting tenants insurance... we always mean to but never get around to it... but after 4 fires in the building ( though none as bad as this one) in 6 months its time to do it just incase we don't come out so lucky next time.

Do you ever feel like you are getting a sign????

I think I just got smacked with one lol. First a tiny bit of background...

I have been really struggling with putting my trust in God for a very long time. I do believe that there is a higher power... but some days its just hard to understand why bad stuff happens. I have had a very hard time praying and turning my troubles over instead of worrying.

Additionally you all know I am struggling with depression. My meds are working great but I have such a fear... total and utter fear of seeking counseling. I know I need to, I know I can't rely on the drugs forever. I know it will help me... yet I am avoiding it at all costs.

So the sign....

Its nothing new that I love to read... its one of my favorite past times. Well for weeks now a book has been catching my eye at the library... but it was book 3 in a 4 book series and none of the other books were in sight. I saw this same book at several of the libraries we go to as well. Then on my last trip all 4 of them were there so I of course had to take them out.

Book one was touching, book 2 started me thinking this was some sort of sign and well book three was my life... from struggling to trust in God, to left over grief issues from parents, to depression to avoiding counselling... it was me in print. I just felt so relieved after reading it if that makes sense, my heart felt lighter and for the first time since I lost Trouble I actually prayed and was able to just drift off to sleep.

Yup I still have issues and who knows maybe book 4 will address them cause the other 3 sure did lol. I know I can't put off seeking out counselling and trying at least 2 appointments won;t kill me... right ???? I really do want to get back to church too... we can only go every other week because of work but at least its a start. So if it was fluke that I found them then so be it. But I truly feel like I was meant to read those books... so whoever sent me to them Thanks :)

Beans Beans the magical fruit...

So we experimented tonight and YUMMMMMMMMM. We are still very focused on eating healthier and I decided I wanted to make chili but wanted to try a new style... so off to google I went. We chose this Veggie Vegetarian Chili and boy did it turn out good. We altered slightly based on the comments of people that had made it and I got brave and actually used part of a jalepeno pepper... next time I will use a whole one ;) Its definately now in our list of repeat reciepes... this healthy eating stuff is getting kinda fun :)

Do you recognize this lip.....

So Al came over for a visit and a haircut tonight. We got chatting about his beard and mustache and his debate in shaving them off. Soooo before he had time to really think about it we DID it... 27 years since he has been totally clean shaven. He looks great...but feels naked lol. Heres the pics

Before....

After....

A bit of babble....

not a ton going on... but thought I would update everyone anyways :) Jay and I are still doing great with our eating. I have been measuring our food and wow what a difference. We are both totally satisified and its making a big difference in the food stock too lol. I had a super long day at work yesterday( all day hours) so I had to preplan everything I was going to take with me... and wow it was quite a reminder of how important planning can be. I had to plan so carefully when I was first diagnoised and working crazy hours... but then I switched to nights and got lazy. Yesterday I felt like I was eating all day, I stayed totallay satisified AND I stayed at the low end of the range that my dietican set up for me. Definately gonna have to keep that up.

In this renewed motivation of eating healthy I am searching for good snacks. I bought some of the thinsations to try and man are they yummy. I will totally be buying them again and recommend them to everyone as a nice sweet treat.

On the baby front... I start round 2 of my clomid tomorrow. Dr.G doubled my dose so we are crossing our fingers that it does the job and that we are getting our very own specail valetime this year... I will of course let you all know once we know ;)

I'll leave you with some qutoes I found. They are great for us for our resolutions this year but I think they also can be applied to any situtation that is important to you :) ...

"Instead of giving myself reasons why I can’t, I give myself reasons why I can”. -Unknown Author

“Some succeed because they’re destined; others succeed because they’re DETERMINED.” - Anon

“There are only 2 choices; make progress or make excuses.” - Ellen Mikesell

“I can’t change what happened yesterday, but I can affect what happens tomorrow” - unknown

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”. -- Aristotle

So the online tests aren't overly accurate... but they are fun. CHeck it out and see how you do. Jay will post his score later :) I think I did not to bad on only a few hours sleep and a few guesses lol

Resolution Check In...

Well a few days in and yay us. So far so good we are staying on track with our plan to eat healthier. It was a VERY long day yesterday and it would have been sooooo simple to just stop and grab some crappy food but we resisted. We instead stopped at M&M and bought a quick to prepare but healthy supper and felt good about it after.

I have joined efforts with a few of my online buddies and that has been great motivation. As part of that I am logging my food and I am either staying on the low side of what my dietician wants me to eat... or not meeting the minimum's. I am gonna have to make an effort to plan better and get some snacks in to make sure I am eating what I need to... not enough isn't perfect but hey its still way better than over eating.

Our house looks so bare...

While I slaved at the computer and got some much needed paperwork done today Jay took down our Christmas stuff. It never ceases to amaze me how bare and plain everything looks when all the glitz and tackiness of Christmas is gone. Its a reminder that life is back to normal... if you can call it that and always leaves me wishing that the season was jsut a little longer and that we would all continue to make that extra effort to see one another. Through the year the intentions are always there but life gets in the way...

Holy Motivation batman!!!!!!!!!

Last night Jay and I watched "Super Size Me" . It scared the CRAP right out of us! I was shocked, appalled and just stared at the TV in utter amazement at what we have been doing to our bodies. It was the PERFECT movie to watch on our first day of recommitment to healthier eating... I will NEVER look at McDonalds the same again. We highly suggest that everyone watch this movie.

So what are your resolutions? Jay and I are mostly working on joint goals for the upcoming year. We want to build on what we have already been doing and increase our focus on key areas...

1) Health- Since last January when I was diagnosied with the diabetes we have made lots of changes to our diets. Initally we followed my plan from the dietican to a tee... well we started slipping back into some of our old ways though overall we still were eating much healthier. We are going back to that original plan and we are also going to be investing in the Leisure center monthly passes so we can start hittng the gym and hopefully I can also drag him kicking and screaming to some aquasize classes ;) With getting back to re-emphasizing the diet and excersice I am sure some weight loss will follow...and that will be great but our main purpose is to just be healthier over all and to maintain even tighter control over the diabetes for when I do finally get PG again

2) Money- ah the bain of our existance. Considering we are a single income family we are doing pretty good. However the more we have thought about future Mat Leave time the more we have realized we need to bank some bucks... just to allow me to have more time at home with our future child. So we will be looking at our budget and figure out what we can put aside each month. I think we will also do some side stuff like saving change , returning pop bottles, etc just to boost the totals up without putting money away persay.

3) Organization- Again this has been an ongoing project :) Jay has really helped me par down all the stuff I have packratted away over the years. We want to continue the trend and also go through the mounds of paper we have and actually file it away in an organized easy to use manner.

4) On a personal level I want to seek out counselling. I know I have talked about this lots but I think I am finally ready. My meds have me leveled out and we have made it through the holidays. For the sake of myself and for those around me I want to do this but more importantly I want to do this BEFORE I have a child so that I can be the best parent possible... and I think leaving all my demons behind will certainly help that

So not a ton of stuff... and really things we were already doing. We just want to really refocus ourselves and make 2007 an even better year :)